“someday” November 4, 2008

I do believe in “someday”

do you?

I do wait for “someday”

do you?

“someday”..

no one knows

only God knows

what will happen

to you, me, and us..

these million seconds

these hundred days

may wipe all the feelings

but not these memories

not my love for you

perhaps I’m a daydreamer

sink on my own desire

and this everlasting hope

makes these tears drop

I do believe that “someday”

we will meet again

maybe next week or today

maybe next year or next life

“someday”, I will be yours

“someday”, I will always be there for you

“someday”, I will give all my life to you

“someday”..

perhaps, i love you September 22, 2008

I can say,

there is something wrong with me

day by day

I just feel empty, my soul screams lonely

I believe, if I can slash my chest

I will find my heart and lungs wounded

I cann’t get out of this distress

Sounds crazy but I feel I am haunted

In my lonely world

Where there are only me and me

My heart beat plead to be heard

That there is still a lil space for my enemy

Inside..

It is something unexplained

It is something unexpected

I talk to God,

“God! Forgive me..

I should be realize

in my deepest sorrow

in my desperation

You came to me

and calmed myself down

You sent me someone

who cured my pain

with his love and care

fixed my broken life

colored my gloomy time

burned my desire

with his smile and laugh

brought me to the fun relationship.

But, what?

I was still leave a little space for ‘the past’

someone who hurted me over and over again,

who filled my head with complicated things,

who didn’t care was I still alive

who made me cry every night,

who made me realized that love was fierce,

who never appreciated of the love I brought,

and who never loved me back.

He doesn’t deserve!

What a fucking stupid girl who wanna love

someone who made herself died inside!”

I must be sinful

I don’t wanna be unfaithful

I don’t wanna disappointed

someone who cured me

who loved me.

I try to lie to myself

But it doesn’t work

And if you want to know

I still leave a lil space in my heart for you

But it still doesn’t make sense to come back to you

Let it stay there inside

Let it rest in peace

I’ll go with my own love

AGAINTS GRAVITY WITH YOU June 24, 2008

When I spent day by day with you

Everyday seemed so amazing

I was lying in that floor with you

Holded hand, we looked up the ceiling

I was thinking, “will we be like this forever?”

“Will we pass all the time together?”

I didn’t think so

So did you

So did God, perhaps..

But, I know..

One day, that time will be a memory in our mind

2 months, 8 months, 2 years, or 10 years later

that gotta hurt us

that gotta kill us

Why did time pass so fast?

Honey, I didn’t wanna make this last

You said, the sun would set and rise

The day would be replaced by the night

I looked behind the glass your beam eyes

There was something there that made me hold you tight

But, I just wanted to stop the time!

I justed wanted to spend a little more time with you

And more

And more

Yeah, I was right

Now, that memory suffocate my mind

Remind me that you are not mine

I won’t leave this memory behind

But, you will never see my face shine

If God give us one more chance

To make this thing right

I wanna against gravity with you

Where we can stop the time

Where we can feel the sensation

Where we can still love each other

Where we can be together forever

I need you June 2, 2008

I don’t need you

to make me cry

I don’t need you

to make myself die

I don’t need you

to hurt my heart

I don’t need you

to make things so hard

I don’t need you

to destroy the only one love I have

I don’t need you

to burry me and kiss my grave

I don’t need you

to make my feeling fly away

then you throw it down

as you like

I don’t need you

to keep me waiting

I don’t need you

to keep me wishing

I don’t need you

to trample down my dream

my dream of you

I don’t need you

to make me down

I don’t need you

to make me yawn

I don’t need you

to spoil my fantasy

I don’t need you

to make things not easy

I don’t need you

to make me melting

but in fact, you’re lying

But..

I do need you

to make me smile

and laugh with your style

I do need you

to stay with me

to lay beside me

to whisper that you love me

I do need you

to meet me and get high five

to fill my hollow life

I do need you

to make me stronger

to make my life longer

I do need you

to stop myself suffering

to accompany me dancing

I do need you

coloring my day

to make a castle

together in this bay

I do need you

to hold me on my fear

swear to me you’re always here

I do need you

to look the starry night

and turn on my light

I do need you

to say, ‘I LOVE YOU’

to say, ‘I NEED YOU, TOO’

she missed him May 22, 2008

she passed 189 days all alone

could she survive out there?

I heard her cried for his gone

he wasn’t there to keep her from her scare

I know she missed him a lot

I know she thought about him a lot

I saw he ignored her

I saw he didn’t care

anymore..

it seemed like the end of the world for her

she tried to wake up, it was just long nightmare

‘boy, please don’t..

don’t leave her..’

she passed 4536 hours all alone

felt the pain into her bone

she loved someone more than herself

this pain made her killed herself

she passed 272160 minutes all alone

her heart always opened and never turned to stone

she crushed, so crushed

hoped this suffering easily brushed

she passed 16329600 seconds all alone

one thing she thought,

she missed him

she missed him

boy, could I get you back?

I miss you

LONG ROAD April 29, 2008

I’ve been here almost 24 weeks

survived to stand with this neurotic

drove on my own passed this long road

and pray, “please, take my life, Lord”

 

I awoke in this middle of the night

asked myself, “is it heaven or hell?”

everything seemed so hollow without a light

even I couldn’t see, is it an angel or tinkerbell?

 

It was still the same long long road

silent, hollow, windy, and nothing

It will be still the same long long road

when I leave this world for loving

 

 

 

the world loves u and the world is me April 23, 2008

this eventide zephyr softly blew into my wooden window your graceful name

right here, I stood alone in this middle of the night, waited, and wished you came

I’ve already known, realized, and understood this situation never be the same

but, I had to survive, wiped my sorrow and raised to win this damn game

that crimson sky seemed as a refelection of your silent face

the world cried see you died inside the race

my knees trembled when I saw you gave me a glance

honey, this match never began before we sat together in the bench

the oak tree in this tropical forest held me tight to keep me from my fear

you were far away, thousand miles away, but I could smell your scent near

the sky turned dark, the storm destroyed my mind, I wished you were here

I wished you were here…

me, you, and us April 20, 2008

in this universe.. we have already walked around this city

looked all their faces which mean and dirty

I touch your hair, I stared your beautiful eyes

you give me a big smile, it was really nice

I have waited long long time to see those stars

as you promised me, we would live in mars

only you, only me, only us

only you, only me, only us

I look out from my window in my room all alone

hope you will come to me with an ice cream cone

no big deal! we will eat it together

we will live eternal forever

will you be there for me when I feel this fear?

please promise me that you will not disappear

accompany you inside this cockpit

feel all the risk, nervous, and danger we meet

and there will be..

only you, only me, only us

only you, only me, only us

we all know this world will be end

and all my letters to you will be sent

but I don’t wanna make this love gone

this love flows to my brain, heart and bone

I am lying in my bed and feeling blue

waiting and searching of your clue

I see you silver, your colour is silver

just like this beautiful river

hmmmmfh..

will it be

only you, only me, only us?

only you, only me, only us?

WHERE R YOUUUU? April 13, 2008

Dedicated to ‘someone’ I love so bad

where are you?

you’re came and gone

don’t you know I’m all alone?

the weather is so cold

may I ask you to hold?

where are you?

I can see your light

I can see you’re bright

I hope I can see you tonight

your light makes me blind

your light makes me lose my mind

your eyes are like fire

sucked my blood such a vampire

do you feel the same?

but I just feel shame

to express this feel

it seems so real

thinking on your face

I’m scare I cannot replace

I really need to call you

I really need to talk to you

tell you anything

tell you, you’re my king

where are you?

sometimes I feel desperate

feel like I’m alone in this planet

I won’t forget

I just wanna dead

save me!

rescue me!

where are you?

where I can find you?

where I can find somebody like you?

where are you?

where are you?

where are you?

where are you?

where are you?

where are you?

where are you?

April 3, 2008

I have given you all my best

but still I couldn’t pass your test

you told me you need a rest

I kissed your lips after took off your glasses

you told me I was just a mess

then I laid in your chest

I liked when you wore your grey vest

you said you loved me less

I cried to you to express

You smiled and asked me to wear dress